What causes loss of confidence and how to overcome it

By Iona Leigh of Findhorn Flower Essences, Advanced Essence Practitioner (BFVEA), Health Mentor (Health Creation UK), MA Performance and Health (Thames Valley University of London).

Some of the many causes of low self-esteem may include an unhappy childhood where parents (or other significant people such as teachers) were extremely critical; poor academic performance in school resulting in a lack of confidence; ongoing stressful life events such as relationship breakdown or financial trouble.

However, if we look to the present moment, then the most common cause is constantly overthinking! This is one of the worst enemies of confidence for the simple reason that overthinking leads to negativity. It twists things around, makes you worry, and makes everything appear so much worse than it actually is. When you give up overthinking you’ll be amazed to see how many problems it was causing you.

7 Simple Ways You Can Stop Yourself from Overthinking

1. Awareness is the beginning of change — Essence of Harebell

Before you can begin to address or cope with your habit of overthinking, you need to learn to be aware of it when it’s happening. Any time you find yourself doubting or feeling stressed or anxious, step back and look at the situation and how you’re responding. In that moment of awareness is the seed of the change you want to make.

Findhorn Flower Essence Harebell helps you to faith and trust in yourself by encouraging self-reliance and feeling secure in yourself. It supports inner listening and awareness to guide you in the right direction.

2. Don’t think of what can go wrong, think what can go right — Essence of Stonecrop

In many cases, overthinking is caused by a single emotion: fear. When you focus on all the negative things that might happen, it’s easy to become paralysed, so we fear taking a step forward or making the change needed. Next time you sense that you are starting to spiral in that direction, stop. Visualise all the things that can go right and keep those thoughts present and up front.

Findhorn Flower Essence of Stonecrop helps address the fear and barriers that hold you back, by encouraging you to break free of and break through from resistance. Then, the feeling of restlessness and habit of emotional holding can shift.

3. Put things into perspective — Essence of Bell Heather

It’s always easy to make things bigger and more negative than they need to be. The next time you catch yourself making a mountain out of a molehill, ask yourself how much it will matter in five years’ time. Or, for that matter, next month. Just this simple question, changing up the time frame, can help shut down overthinking.

Findhorn Flower Essence of Bell Heather helps us to move forward with trust and Conviction; when we feel doubtful and uncertain. Our judgement can become impaired when we feel insecure and uncertain, so Bell Heather gives us the confidence we need to overcome inner challenges.

4. Reset your view with inner power — Essence of Rose Alba

Whether you’re afraid because you’ve failed in the past or you’re fearful of trying, this may be because you remember when things did not work out before or someone put you down, so you fear criticism. Remember, every opportunity is a new beginning, a place to start again.

Findhorn Flower Essence of Rose Alba helps us face our issues with authority, father, or masculine principle when we feel out of alignment with inner power and authority. Rose Alba helps us face the triggers we hold from experiencing a misuse of personal willpower in ourselves or others.

5. Stop waiting for perfection — Essence of Scots Pine

This is a big one for all of us who are waiting for perfection! Being ambitious is great but aiming for perfection is unrealistic, impractical, and debilitating. The moment you start thinking “This needs to be perfect” is the moment you need to remind yourself, “Waiting for perfect is never as smart as making progress.”

Findhorn Flower Essence of Scots Pine helps address our self-doubt and overdependence on outside validation and reassurance, not trusting yourself to make good choices and decisions. Like the tree itself, Scots Pine supports us to be strong!

6. Distract yourself with Beauty — Essence of Elder

Sometimes it’s helpful to distract ourselves with positivity by seeing the beauty in all things! The arts such as dance, theatre, and music provide us with a rich foundation. When we add this to a daily practice of meditation, walking in the beauty of nature, learning an instrument, knitting, drawing/painting, we begin to build inner joy from seeing the beauty of life and in turn become able to distance ourselves from over-analysis. Spending time appreciating the beauty of life leads to seeing our own inner beauty, which ultimately leads us into newfound inner confidence and joy.

Findhorn Flower Essence of Elder helps when we feel heavy or subdued due to poor self-image or self-esteem. By maintaining good, positive self-esteem, we are able to reveal and radiate our inner beauty with joy!

7. Accept your best — Essence of Willowherb

The fear that grounds overthinking is often based in feeling that you aren’t good enough, not smart enough or hardworking enough, or dedicated enough. Once you’ve given an effort your best, accept it as such and know that, while success may depend in part on some things you can’t control, you’ve done what you could do. You can’t have a regretful thought and a grateful thought at the same time, so why not spend the time positively? By using the right use of willpower every morning and every evening, make a list of what you are grateful for, and write a positive to-do list in a journal so you have a witness to the good things that you are planning and go on to achieve.

Findhorn Flower Essence of Willowherb helps us overcome the emotions controlling you rather than you controlling them, by encouraging self-mastery of inner driving impulses, adopting the right use of will and power.

Rose Alba essence solarising

Overthinking is something that can happen to anyone. But if you have a great system for dealing with it you can at least ward off some of the negative, anxious, stressful thinking and turn it into something useful, productive, and effective. The Findhorn Flower Essence Confidence Kit has seven different solo essences which you can take on their own, or as a combination altogether. Findhorn Flower Essences are natural, vibrational remedies that gently support inner change, at your own pace.

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