By Iona Leigh, May 2022
Advanced Essence Practitioner (BFVEA), Health Mentor (Health Creation UK), MA Performance and Health (Thames Valley University of London).
How can we be open, interested and curious about ourselves, others, life, the universe and everything? Big question – but research shows that when we suffer from loneliness and feelings of isolation and separation our general health and well-being is heavily impacted.
Author of Health and Self Care, Dr Andrew Tressidder discusses the way in which relationships give us the opportunity to grow, learn about ourselves and others. A relationship consists of a bond between two or more people and the bond between them.
Dr Tressidder goes on to state “The bond is a connection, association or involvement. Connections start with an Energy Flow of Attention — Attachments have a purpose; they reflect our inner needs and help them get fulfilled. The inner need includes the feeling of security.”
The Findhorn Flower Essence Grass of Parnassus helps us connect more deeply with ourselves and others, particularly when we experience barriers to love or hold patterns of shutting down for self-defence and protection purposes.
One way that we can build a deeper connection with others is simply by being curious! By showing others that we want to know more about their present and future desires is a huge part of building connection. In the same way, showing this curiosity towards ourselves and our inner life, we can open up to new possibilities for our own, spiritual expansion.
Another way in which we can become more present and open in our modern day lives is by having some tech-free time. No TV. No phone. No laptops. No podcasts. None of it. Scheduling time into the calendar just to talk, walk or play or plan can feel really exciting for ourselves and others. The trick of course is sticking to it!
The Findhorn Flower Essence Holy Thorn helps support us with old wounds and begin to accept hurtful memories that keep the heart closed, or patterns that keep us locked in a behaviour of functioning independently of others.
When we become open to listening deeply to others, especially those we care deeply about we show them care and acceptance. Telling someone you have heard them is an act in itself which can be particularly powerful and healing for the person on the receiving end.
Even if you disagree, perhaps you can find a way to let past hurts go and welcome the new? Maybe you will learn something new about yourself or your partner/friend or colleague?
The Findhorn Flower Essence Lime is all about universality and helps us cultivate harmonious relationships and transform feelings of separateness. In essence, Lime encourages us to be at peace with ourselves, our neighbours and our world.
One way in which we can increase harmony when connecting with others is by expressing our appreciation — yes, this means saying ‘thank you.’ But it’s more than that. True appreciation is specific and lets the recipient know that you noticed something they said or did. The fact you noticed is what feels important to the other person.
The Findhorn Flower Essence Sea Holly encourages us to let down our self-protective barriers, be more spontaneous, social and outgoing instead of armouring ourselves against criticism or a fear of looking foolish!
Couples who feel connected to each other are happier and more satisfied in general but as we all know keeping connection strong within any kind of relationship needs ongoing maintenance. Being playful with ourselves, family members, friends, partners and even colleagues can bring about laughter and a rise in oxytocin! So how about a game of cards, revisiting old board games, playing a friendly sport, sharing some jokes? It’s no surprise that psychologists have proven that couples who make time to play together are more connected and happier for it!
The Findhorn Flower Essence Sea Rocket helps us build a sense of self that’s resilient and strong, particularly when insecurity creates the need to hold on or control when seeking stability.
Sea Rocket invites us to let go and release our fixed ideas and controlling habits in both situations and relationships by knowing we are strong in ourselves, even when things feel out of our control. Practicing not interrupting or offering unsolicited advice and instead simply listening, can be aided by Sea Holly’s ability to invite us to trust our own inner strength.
The Findhorn Flower Essence Mallow helps us connect with others through heart-felt communication by allowing any feelings of awkwardness when expressing our need to be seen and emotions to feel more settled. Mallow encourages us to drop over-intellectualising, fixed ideas or self limiting beliefs that hinder our personal growth.
Be honest about your emotions through heart-felt communication, our partners, friends and colleagues are able to understand our true needs — and they may even be able to help you understand what energy you’re bringing home to them. In other words, Mallow shines the light on our ability to bring authentic expression into our lives and relationships.
The Findhorn Flower Essence Reindeer Lichen supports us in living and loving without limits! When we withdraw and do not embrace life fully, we unconsciously stop allowing the energy to move in and through our life in a natural state of flow. What would it look like to live without the limits we (often unconsciously) place on ourselves and then inherently, others?
Looking your partner in the eye is an easy way of forming a deep emotional connection and getting a nice jolt of feel-good oxytocin in the process. Do it when you’re listening to them as a practice of loving without limits or barriers! How long can you do this and hold this presence for and how could Reindeer Lichen encourage you to do this more often and even more deeply!?
Then, what about being silly? As mentioned earlier, those who laugh together, who can laugh at themselves, and those who can get into a habit of smoothing down the rough edges of life with humor — are stronger for it. Again, these behaviours offer more jolts of our much craved feel-good oxytocin in the process!
You might like these products: