By Iona Leigh of Findhorn Flower Essences
Our very first experience in life is LOVE. It happens the moment we incarnate in the womb and is known as Maternal Bonding. It is a biologically-driven construct for survival, inherent within humans and with other primates, designed to preserve the species through nurturing and protective behaviours as stated by Bowlby 1982/1969 and Bowlby in 1978. If any part of this imperative connection was disturbed or disrupted in our own childhood, for whatever reason, there is always the possibility for healing in the present. My mother found during her 25 years in practice as both a homeopath and advanced flower essence practitioner, that many of the core issues presenting in the ‘here and now’ often relate to past traumas experienced during childhood. Even in situations where our parents were present and loving, we can find missing pieces.
Let’s face it … as parents we don’t receive an instruction booklet, and more often than not our own parents experienced their own dysfunctional family issues … and so the cycle continues. If our parents were there but not present, or present but not loving, then we find even deeper pain, and an inherent sense of loss and even deep betrayal. For as children we were seeking to bathe in the same light we came from, the light we will return to and our birth right — to experience real time love light energy here on earth.
Suppressing painful memories
Flower Essences provide us with a gentle, subtle way to make contact with these tender thoughts and feelings as the flowers’ powerful energetic qualities resonate and vibrate with our own. When we take Flower Essences from a place of willingness to look inside ourselves and journey inward with an idea, a feeling, a thought pattern or behaviour, we are able to then notice if we might be ready to examine or even release an aspect that is no longer serving us.
The Combination Essence Maternal Healing invites us to make an inner connection to our great mother, Mother Gaia of the earth and creation, the Mother within ourselves, as well as our birth mother or adoptive mother, or any motherly figure who has protected and cared for us. This sacred
‘Mary/Brigit’ figure holds great importance to the acceptance of ourselves and understanding of being loved unconditionally. When taking the Combination Essence Maternal Healing, we are also able to invite the qualities of connection, forgiveness and healing into our daily practice.
Moving from the pure experience of Maternal Love and into a greater self-love, we begin to embrace the essence of Eros which allows us to connect more deeply with our love of life, love of ourselves and the love we have to give passionately, and offer to others. Eros essence allows us to open to love and become more tender with ourselves both physically, emotionally and mentally in the way we talk to ourselves about our positive and negative qualities.
Ingredients for passion
The Combination Essence Eros encourages us to find the passion within and share it with others, whether that be family, friends, work colleagues or within intimate lovers and relationships. The solo flower of Balsam for Tenderness is a key ingredient as its hot pink vulva-shaped petals scream passion and enthusiasm for love in the world. With this sensation on all levels, we are able to call in and spread out this infectious passion for life and express our true va-va-voom!
Too often we are sold the idea of love in the form that our lovers and loving must take in physical form, or the look of a romantic scene or the sound or style of romance like a movie, when in actual fact real passion and real love is often more like dancing in our PJs while our baby is covered in baked beans … or feeling completely overwhelmed by the beauty of nature which fills our spirit with love for the planet. Love and passion takes so many forms. Some forms are not given enough credit so it’s easy to think we are ‘lacking’ love in the spoon-fed way we receive these ideas of what love should be like, feel like and look like from the view of the mass media.
As we heal any sense of lack from our childhood and the past, we are more able to open to a sense of abundant love in the present because the truth is — love is all around us right now. Literally! The universal energy is pure loving light that surrounds us. We came from it, will return to it and if we choose to connect with it, can find it in every moment, right here.
It is so easy to feel down, lost, uninspired, depressed, let down, hurt, abandoned and fearful. In these times, it is very important to rest, take a bath, tend to self-care with good food, nature, good people who want the highest for us and begin to focus more on our healing practices. How easily we forget to reconnect with our inner self, this deep place of inspiration, peace, hope and that inner place that is always waiting for us to reconnect with love … in a new way.
Take a moment to tune into your passion whether it be cooking, knitting, singing or gardening and place importance on the task of reconnecting with these passions for your health, happiness and most of all your heart-felt love for life! If you feel it is lost, or you are lost … how about starting by remembering what you LOVED doing as a young child or teenager. Often our childhood love of painting or singing has never really left us, we just stopped doing it along the way when life got too busy or we had to ‘grow up’!
When I lost a baby, when my marriage of 16 years fell apart, when my father died, when my mother died, when a trusted friend who was jealous chose to slander me … I too felt love was lost. But in these processes of grieving the loss of a husband, a parent, a dear friend, I kept returning to a deep realisation that actually we are never heart-broken. This phrase is really a negative description of what I experienced as an enormous earth-shattering ‘heart-opening’, where our heart literally expands on a whole other level. If we are able to use the experience of loss as a reconnection with our own deep love of life, our great passions and our ability to find creative expression as we travel through the daily grind, then we begin to notice that love never leaves us at all … it just changes and asks us to reconnect with it … in new ways.
My mother’s physical body is now stardust … but all the love she had for me has made me the woman I am, and mother I am to my three children. All the love Mum gave lives on in the work she created, which I now carry on as I reconnect with her and the passion that fuelled the making of these powerful essences. So, love never dies, it just changes form and our hearts are not broken, they just expand which can feel painfully uncomfortable during such states of transition.
Getting in touch with the spirit of love
This month, I invite you to observe love, take note and journal about all the experiences you have with feeling and experiencing love this month. We all know that February is the month of celebrating St Valentine-style, so I invite you to get in touch with the spirit of love, within.
How can you express your love more on a day to day basis? How can you recognise all the forms that love shows up for you in your life in all of those unexpected small, yet powerful ways? Drink these moments in and see if you can label each tiny expression and experience of love with an exclamation mark — because we all know love is what makes the world go round! Do you have a special pen and paper that you can use to dedicate to all the love you experience in your life this month? How will you feel at the end of the month when you read all these experiences and feelings of love back? What is something that surprises you that you otherwise would not have noticed?
Often we are seeking love in all the wrong places and even forget to notice it is actually all around us and waiting to be expressed from within us, if we are only brave even to be vulnerable and let it flow in and out in all the varied forms it takes.
Blessings dear lovers of life! Keep your eyes, ears and heart open this month and please let me know how you get on. #All we need is love!
Maternal Healing is a wonderful essence for mothers, children and adults who wish to heal any aspect of their own mothering or issues around unconditional love bonds.
You can purchase Eros as an essence, Room Mist or duo and its perfume is a stunning combination of rose and sandalwood. Alternatively, you can buy it in our new duo which includes both the essence and room mist together.
You might like these products: